• Question: How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

    Asked by akira to James, Jayne, Kara, Sharon on 23 Mar 2011 in Categories: .
    • Photo: Sharon Sneddon

      Sharon Sneddon answered on 23 Mar 2011:

      Probably none. Woodchucks aren’t known for their wood chucking ability, they are also known as land beavers and mainly chuck dirt! A burrowing woodchuck can chuck dirt, in the form of tunnels that can reach five feet deep and as much as 35 feet in length.

      It’s estimated that they are able to chuck about 710 pounds of dirt, so if you were to collect 710 pounds of wood, that would be the amount of wood a woodchuck could theoretically chuck..

    • Photo: Jayne Charnock

      Jayne Charnock answered on 23 Mar 2011:

      Using the formula: (W + I) * C where W = the constant of wood, which is well known to be 61, as agreed in many scientific circles. I = the variable in this equation, and stands for the word “if” from the original problem. As there are three circumstances, with 0 equaling the chance that the woodchuck cannot chuck wood, 1 being the theory that the woodchuck can chuck wood but chooses not to, and 2 standing for the probability that the woodchuck can and will chuck wood, we clearly must choose 2 for use in this equation. C = the constant of Chuck Norris, whose presence in any problem involving the word chuck must there, is well known to equal 1.1 of any known being, therefore the final part of this calculation is 1.1. As is clear, this appears to give the answer of (61 + 2) * 1.1 = (63) * 1.1 = 69.3. However, Chuck Norris’ awesome roundhouse kick declares that all decimal points cannot be used in formulas such as this, and so it must be rounded to the final solution of 69 units of wood.

    • Photo: James Chan

      James Chan answered on 23 Mar 2011:

      as much wood as the amount of air an aircooler could cool if an aircooler could cool air